The Friends Chart

Not long ago I got the bright idea to create a "friends chart". This would in effect keep track of most of the people I knew and at what level of friendship they were at. Level 1 is a really good friend, and Level 5 equates to that person being dead to me.

As you can see from the above example I charted a few people I met in college. You notice they all were at about zero in 1996 - obviously because I had yet to meet them. It's fascinating to me seeing this as a visual guide and how people move in and out of your life.

Lets take my friend Jeff. He's green on the chart. He lived in my hallway my first year in college. We became good heterosexual friends. I would observe him bringing back whores every weekend and we would have a good laugh over that stuff. I guess you'd call that "male bonding" or something. You can see this peaked in 2000. We were sharing an apartment with another friend (the orange line) and all had a grand ol' time. However, all things end don't they? Soon after he met this girl and next thing you know is they're engaged. Then married. As you can observe on the chart they were obviously married near the end of 2004 and the friendship soon dropped at an even steeper angle . Through some calculations I've determined early 2006 will be the last time I ever talk to him.

Now the bredstik guys are the brown line. I barely talked to them in college and we didn't really know each other that well (until I killed sutter's comic strip character in my own comic strip in the school paper - long story). So you can see we were level 3 friends at the end of 2000 and became ALMOST level 2 friends while a few of us worked together in the same office. Since we were all laid off they've dropped down to almost level 4. Yeah, fuck those guys. Who needs em. Still, I forecast we'll never quite fall out of touch since I plan on always bothering them for their technical knowledge and such.

So there you go. I think everybody should keep a friend chart. Sure it's almost as gay as a blog, but I told you to do it so therefore it's a good idea.

Comments

[Ian]

That chart is awesome. It looks just like my "Boner Chart."

[sutter]

oh, bandy. well, it;s good to know i almost achieved that coveted level 2 status. all you have to do is score me a job again and we'll be chumming it up again! who are the other 2 lines anyway? this is pretty funny by the way.

[bandelin]

don't worry sutter, the job fairy's workin on it.

you can see joel (orange) is getting married soon. There goes another one.
and the other lines are people that I was just humoring who will never be above level 4 at the most. You know who you are!

[TheJones]

I'm on here, it's just my line color is white, and in level 0... it's hard to be loved by Jeff, heterosexually of course ;)

[Joel]

hi, im joel and as you can see im the orange line because im a pussy whipped cum gobbler. bye bandy. it was nice knowing you when i actually had a set of balls.

[Joel]

Fellow blog readers, I'm writing to let everyone know that any misspellings found in my comments are not actually mine. Bandy has told me personally that he is going to edit my shit so as to ruin my credibility and make me look like an ass.
Did I say "so as to"?, ... ok I suck anyway, and I did misspell "longer" in my last post totally destroying any funniness it may have contained. Fuck you Bandy.

[P. Dalkner]

dammit! i can't believe i let myself go like this. i've fallen down to level 4. i always knew this would happen. growin' up on the mean streets my father always told me i'd never amount to more than a level 3 at best. just like him and his father before him. then i'd get beaten and he'd pass out drunk off his ass. thanks for bringing up the painful memories, jeff.

[bearskinrug]

Jeff, I'd like to take you out to dinner or something, where we can discuss increasing my level on your chart. I could maybe help you work on your car, or even drive you to a doctor's appointment...

Call me! (wiggles hand at ear, mimicking phone)

[not Kate]

so where does Kate Donelly fall on this chart? you're so stunted you'd probably drop her a few levels for giving you a boner.

[bandelin]

who the hell is kate donelly?

[Patrick Jackson]

Check http://www.friendchart.com

You and your friends make accounts, write a history of your friendship. Don't want to "rate" your friends? Give them a unique number. Then it's a timeline of your friendship.

Fun way to blow some time and have fun with your friends!

[Jude ALIMHINAGA]

am a guy with sence of humour,i need a girl to marry.
i am 25 years old and loved to be loved as love is a reciprical.
jude
judealims@yahoo.com

[Victor]

i'm guy with cool appearance,i need both boy&girl as a chat friend. Am 23yr.

[sarah]

hay whats up

[santiago lucas]

i love u

[santiago lucas]

single

[john]

i cant accept it

[amin]

i am female who looking for a caring male chart with i am 24 years old and i am from Ghana

[solomon]

male looking 4 respecful female

[NITHESH]

HI..............