BandyHates

I Hate The Luge

It's a sad, sad day when I think that boring, repetitive, gay sport known as figure skating isn't on the top of my Most Hated Winter Olympic Events.

No, no my dear readers...that goes to "The Luge". It's not enough that I have to see the "lugers" spandexed cock fly by at 100 mph...or whatever that translates to in kilometers you stupid foriegners.
(yes I know it's a technically better system - shut the hell up).

It's the fact that it must be the most unaccessible sport on the face of the planet. What's the fucking point. I mean, have you ever seen Cool Runnings? Just look at what those poor starving africans had to go though. What kind of event has like the top 20 "lugers" in the olympic games when only THIRTY in the world even know how to fucking luge!

Oh, and it's just plain gay. If I see the outline of a cock in your suit - your sport is gay.

Thank you.

2006 Summer Fashion Beat-Down #1

Let's get something straight. Wearing loafers with no socks AND shorts is WRONG. IT'S OFFENSIVE.

Just who the hell do you think you are? You can't just casually strut around with those worn out bacteria factories on your feet and the daisy dukes and think that's OK. You're probably married, over 35 and therefore have lost all sense of style, but it's no excuse.

I bet this type of person even has the "nice loafers" and the "garden/outdoor grilling loafers". You SO deserve to die it's not even funny.

If I see you, I'm going to give you a major beat down, then laugh at your kids and call them ugly to their little crying faces.

Also, you may get an even BIGGER beat down if the following conditions are met:

- your loafers have tassles on them

- your shirt is tucked in

- your wife refers to you as her "hubby"

Two Dudes

I thought it would be fun to animate some whimsical story in the vein of Dr. Suess. This particular story that I'm still writing (because rhyming words in an unforced way is a bitch) stars Rob and Stan.

I won't get too much into the plot, but suffice to say these two unwittingly destroy the planet.

These are just my initial designs and will go through some more changes, but what the hell I'll post them. Maybe I'll get this thing animated before 2009.